Hello world!

As my dear old Grandma Know It All says , “Those of you who think you know it all annoy those of us who do”.    The family gift has been passed down to me.   You have a question, I’ll give you an answer.  It may or may not be based on anything but a gut instinct or a strong opinion.  I don’t guarantee anything.   I don’t do homework questions.   Been there, done that, got the degree.  Do your own homework.

Grandma Know It All

Grandma Know It All

I’ll also share my opinions on everything.  You may or may not agree, nor do I care.   Its my opinion.   Feel free to express yours here.  Its an open forum, just keep it clean for the sake of the kiddies.

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WTF? Drew Peterson Engaged?

In my best Dr. Phil voice “What the hell are they thinking?”

Drew Peterson is the former police sergeant from Illinois who is the prime suspect in the disappearance of his wife, Stacy who disappeared in October of 2007. Whoopie! He is engaged to a 23 year old woman. Peterson is 54. Publicist Glenn Selig made the announcement that Peterson has been seeing this woman for 4 months and proposed last week.

Excuse me, but why is a publicist making this announcement? Am I the only one who finds this bizzarre? Is he Drew’s publicist? And if so, why in God’s name does this guy need a publicist?

Drew’s attorney “I guess he’s got to get divorced,” said Joel Brodsky, the Chicago Sun-Times reported. OMG!

Where is Stacy? Why isn’t he looking for her if she really ran away instead of romancing gals young enough to be his daughter? Geeze. even OJ did lip service to finding the “real killer”. Come on, if Stacy
ran away, why would she leave her kids? As a woman, I know a mom
doesn’t leave her kids. While I understand her wanting to run away from this dude, she would have taken her kids if she left voluntarily.
So again, where is she?

Stacy was Drew’s fourth wife. His third wife died under very mysterious circumstances. This guy doesn’t have a good track record on marriage. Nor on keeping wives around. I would think a guy who has 4 failed marriages would give up and declare himself a loser at love. Its time to retire from marriage, dude.

What the hell is this girl thinking? Does she think love will keep them together? This dude is 31 years her senior, he’s been married 4 times, and he is suspected in the disappearance of his 4th wife AND there are questions about his involvement in the death of this third wife. He’s not the kind of guy you want to bring home to mom and dad. The age difference alone would cause a coronary, the fact that your daughter is about to be wife number 5 would surely cause a stroke.

Lets face it, a woman near his age wouldn’t give him the time of day. She’s able to read and she watches the news. She can smell an asshole at 20 paces.

OK, unnamed wife to be number 5. If you are reading this, please get a brain and a pair of track shoes. Put on the track shoes and run for your life. Find someone your own age without all the baggage. And run!

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Dear Miss Know it all,

My boyfriend hasn’t met any of my family. He’ll be in town for the holidays and I want him to come over for Christmas. I’m afraid my Grandpa will ask him about his intentions. I’m freaking.

Dear Freaking,

Its a grandfather’s job to ask about intentions. Warn your boyfriend that some of the questions could get uncomfortable for him and to be prepared. If he’s really cool he’ll smile and take it in stride. If he freaks out and you freak out, you have a problemo, honey. Just be cool. Remember, you can choose your friends, but not your relatives. We all have some wack job relatives that will ask the craziest questions, just blow it off and have fun.

Mz. Know it All,

My parents are divorced. We have to divide our time at the holiday with both of them or they get mad at us. How can we get them to see that they are acting like kids? The Adult

Dear Adult,

Parents can act like kids and kids can act like adults. Some adults never grow up. It sounds like they both love you and want to be with you on the holiday. Instead of dividing the day in two, tell them you’ll spend Christmas eve with one and Christmas day with the other. And they will just have to adjust to your plans this year. Good luck, honey!

Hi!

I have to bring a side dish for Christmas and I don’t have a clue of what to bring. Thx.

Dear Thx,

Google holiday side dishes and you’ll find kabillions to choose from. You might want to ask the hostess what she’s serving so you have an idea of what will go along with her dinner. Or ask the hostess what she wants you to bring.

Dear Ms knowitall,

What are some ideas to put into my boyfriend’s Christmas stocking?

Candy! Everyone loves candy. Gift cards, tickets to his favorite sports team or concert, lottery tickets, silly toys, his favorite cologne, personal grooming items and MORE candy.

What’s a hostess gift?

A hostess gift is a gift you bring to the house of a person hosting a party. It can be a box of candy, a bottle of wine, a holiday ornament, something home baked. Just a little trinket to say thank you for inviting us to your home. :)

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Rants: Customer Service is MIA

Nothing ticks me off more than lousy customer service. Lately, customer service is missing in action from both brick and mortar stores and on the internet. I understand the reason to cut costs, but customer service is what keeps people coming back. If I’m going to hand over my hard earned money, I deserve a smile and a thank you. I also deserve recognition as a customer.

OK, so I walk into a big box electronic retailer ready to drop some big bucks on a gadget gizmo my husband just has to have for Christmas.
The salesmen are talking, texting and in general ignoring everyone. What I want is behind a locked cabinet and I don’t have the key, so I need a human to unlock it and ring up my purchase. Since these sales people are commission, they should be all over me like flies on you know what. But they are in text world and if they were my employees, they’d be out on their butts.

Don’t these people know that there are so many people out of work that they’d be glad to do the work and collect the commission? Work is a four letter word and it means what it says, WORK. Text on your own time. If you are on my dime, give me some service.
I finally left without my gadget gizmo.

I headed home and order it on the internet. Placed the order 4 days ago, money hasn’t been taken out of my account, nor have I received a confirmation of that order. WTF? You don’t want my business?

Last night I headed into my local gas station to gas up and the card reader wasn’t working. Inside, Miss Personality is behind the counter. Damn, this woman is an idiot. Sometimes she has teeth, sometimes she doesn’t. She must have left them in her other sweats.

ME: “Hi, How are you today?”
No response, she’s gumming some food behind the cigarette case.
Me: ” I need to run my card inside because the card reader isn’t working on pump 5″.
No response, she points to a card reader on the counter.
Me: “Thank you, have a good day”.
No response.

Another customer:
“I need a bag of ice please”.
Miss Personality: “Why? Its cold outside.”
Customer: “I need a bag of ice please for a party”.
Miss Personality: “Outside, git it yoo self”
Customer: “Do you have diet Mountain Dew?”
Miss Personality: “If it ain’t in the case, I ain’t got it, look
fer yoo self”.
Customer walked out.

Why would ANYONE hire this idiot? She has no customer service skills, she has no personality, she’s driving customers away and some days she doesn’t even have teeth.

Arrrggghhhh! If you are getting my money that I’ve earned the hard way, then please act like you and are in the same universe. If you have a customer service job, then do what the job title says: give your customer some service. DUH!

And you retailers take note: If you aren’t servicing the customer, we’ll find someone who has the same product and will appreciate our business. And you can text THAT to your buddies.

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Tattoos: Envy and Regret

I want to get a tattoo but my parents won’t let me. Heeeeellllllpppp.

Dear Heeeeellllllpppp,
A tattoo is for freaking evah. What might trip your trigger when you are a teen may make you feel like an idiot when you are older. Especially if you tattoo your girlfriend’s name and she’s out of the picture in a couple of months. You have to carry that baggage and answer a lot of questions when your new babe comes into your life.
A lot of tattoo parlors won’t tattoo you unless you have your parents permission, and the do it yourself variety look like prison tats.

Spend some time researching your designs and put a LOT of thought into it. Here are some ideas. Click Here! And while you are biding your time until you are old enough, test drive some temporary tats.
Think once, twice and three times before you permanently mark your skin. And if you don’t believe me, keep reading.

Ms Know-It-All,
A bunch of girls at a bachelorette party in Vegas decided to get tats. I was one of them. I now have major regret. What was I thinking? What can I do?

Dear Regret,
This is a case of what happens in Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas. You can either have the tat redone, removed by laser or use a product that fades the tattoo like Wrecking Balm

Ms. Know It All got her tat in Vegas and has no regrets because she was sober. ;)

Does it hurt to get a tattoo? My wife wants us to get matching tats for our first anniversary. I freak at needles. Sign me: Chicken

Dear Chicken,
Tattoos can hurt or not hurt depending on where you get it placed.
It also depends on your level of pain tolerance. I got my tat on my ankle and its sort of bony. The tattoo artist said it would hurt, but I didn’t feel it was painful. But then, I’m a woman and not afraid of needles. The tattoo artist showed me the tattoo needle, its actually in a air powered gun and you don’t see the needle. There were a bunch of guys who looked like Chippendale dancers getting tats who were so freaked out that one fainted and another cried. It was so much fun watching them act like babies that I didn’t feel much of anything. The gun buzzes and vibrates on your skin and it actually felt sort of good. Maybe I’m weird, but I enjoyed the process.

Maybe you should visit the tattoo parlor before you sign on the dotted line and face your fears. If you get your tat on a fleshy spot, it won’t hurt as much as watching your wife laugh at you while you freak out.

Research your tattoo parlor before you get inked. Ask your friends for references, make sure they are licensed and make sure they follow proper hygiene practices. Then take a deep breath!

tatooparlor

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My Mom is Old, what to get for Christmas?

Dear Ms Know It All,

My mom is old, like in her 40’s.  What do you think she’d like for Christmas?

The Kid

Dear Kid,

She’d like you to stop calling her old.

Dear MKIT,

What should I get my boyfriend for Xmas?  We’ve been talking since summer. He likes nascar stuff and I’m kind of broke.

Clueless

Dear Clueless,

How broke are you?  Too broke to buy anything? If you are too broke to buy anything, bake him some cookies.  Everyone loves home made cookies  and he’ll think you are so cool that you did it all by your big self.   If you only have a little amount of money,  buy him a little toy car of his favorite driver.

Hi,

I want an Iphone for Christmas, how do I get one?

Chatterbox

Dear Chatterbox,

I want one, too but I will never be able to convince anyone to buy me one and pick up the monthly fees.   So, your best option is to get a job and pay for it yourself.  If that’s isn’t feasable, then you are doing without, like me.   Trust me, you’ll survive.

Hello,

How do I get my boyfriend to know I want him to buy me an engagement ring for Christmas?

Single

Dear Single,

He already knows. What you really need is for him to WANT to buy you an engagement ring. Whether he does it is entirely up to him.  He has to want it himself.   If you’ve dropped hints, he knows.  Its out of your hands.

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